The News & TeleGraff

The theme music alone this morning brought back many mixed emotions: "If it's Sunday, it's Meet the Press." I remembered 18 months ago when I first saw Tim Russert leer across the table at Howard Dean. Depending on whose version you embraced, Howard Dean either was stellar or he got torn apart. Either way, that day, I sat at my desk among the Dean for America web team and watched the dollars roll in—our best day of fundraising to date. The grassroots were incredible!

Fast forward a bit: Dean lost. Kerry lost. Bush won. And now we're trying to figure out to pick up the pieces. And Dean was back this morning, making his case to Tim Russert. I got up to watch Meet the Press today because I really have mixed feelings on this whole Dean as DNC chair thing. I watched him this morning with the same deep interest that I watched his speech last Wednesday—and both times, I agreed with just about every word. One friend and fellow Deaniac summarized Dean's speech as follows:

What he said wasn't rocket science. Stand tall for progressive values. Cultivate those values into activists and candidates in every race in every state. But he's the only one out there right now making a specific case for specific goals for the party. As Dean himself said, it's not the direction of the party that's important— it's the destination. And Dean has a vision for the destination we should be working towards.

I couldn't agree more. Just as he has for the last two years, Howard Dean has the most comprehensive and articulate vision for America and the Democratic Party that I've seen anyone offer. But, even though I'm one of the deepest Deaniacs I know, there's some hesitation in me.

I'm just not sure yet I want Howard Dean to be the chair of our Party.

My hesistation stems not from any bitterness towards the man who was my governor in Vermont for more than half my life. He is, in fact, one of my favorite people and someone I've known for a long time. I've worked with Howard Dean on and off since I started as an intern in his press office in 1995. My friend Nicco Mele may get all the credit, but I was Dean's first webmaster—on my wall hangs the newspaper article from the June 12, 1997 when I launched Dean's first website. Heck, I even have to give the governor credit for getting me into college. When he stopped by my office (next to the copier) one day to chat, and heard that I'd been deferred at my first choice college, he personally called the dean of admissions. After college, I spent eight months working on Dean for America as deputy national press secretary, most of that time sitting no more than ten feet from Joe Trippi's office. I was there for a lot of the success, many of the great screaming matches, and the bitter tears and words at the end. I mean, I've been there and done that. (As CNN documented, Trippi even crumpled up press releases I wrote and threw them at me.)

In short, Howard Dean a man with whom I'm deeply honored to be associated, and I proudly wear my Dean for America fleece all over Washington to this day.

But here's what it boils down to for me: I have complete confidence in Howard Dean's vision for the Party. I know he believes what he's saying, and that he's saying what he believes. I know we can win in all fifty states with a progressive message. I know that Howard Dean can reach deep into the red states.

Where I'm still on the fence, though, is in the implementation. The campaign failed not because of its vision, but because it failed to make hard decisions. In Iowa. In New Hampshire. In Washington. In Burlington. (Without endorsing what he did, Paul Maslin did point to some of the campaign's problems in the Atlantic this spring.)

That failure to make those hard decisions squandered one of the greatest opportunities our Party has had in a generation and left us with a weak Democratic candidate who represented few true progressives ideals. (For God's sake people, how did we expect to win when we put up a candidate against Bush who voted for the war in Iraq, voted for No Child Left Behind, voted for the Bush tax cuts, and supported the Bush budgets?)

Before I throw myself behind Howard Dean again, I want to be sure that he has a plan for implementation. I want to hear about some of the details. I want to know how Howard Dean plans to get from Point A to Point B, and who he plans to include in the Party infrastructure. Who will be his chief people within the Democratic headquarters? The chief of staff? The executive director? The finance people? The field people? Are they people who are used to making tough decisions? Are they people who know how to run a great campaign? To put it simply, if you're familiar with West Wing or the Bible, I'm waiting to hear Howard Dean say "shibboleth."

I took the last campaign on faith, and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made, but in the end, I had my heart crushed by a lack of leadership. I'm not willing to go down that road again without assurances that something will be different this time around. Neither our nation nor our Party can afford to make the same mistakes again. What will be different this time?

All that said, if Howard Dean called on me again, I'd jump at the chance to join him in stirring up the Democratic Party. Until the rising stars arrive, Dean's the best chance our Party's got. Just please don't let us down.